Words from the Web
Welcome to my web, said this spider to that fly...
It's so very nice to see you here, so glad you happened by...
Won't you come inside and look around
see what there is to see?
You might find just what you seek
and you'll be quite safe with me....
Here, you will find some writings, perhaps to inspire or delight, to awaken the sleeper within, or to soothe a restless soul. Truly, you are welcome here, and I hope you will enjoy your time playing in my web...
Do let me know what you think, hmm?
Abigail
The music which flows through me is the true voice of Spirit whispering magic in my ear... hidden melodies, long-ago forgotten tunes, secret harmonies and counterpoints. The muse of my inspiration is a flighty creature, often disappearing for long periods of time, no matter how much I will her to return. She speaks to me in her own time; she cannot be coerced, only welcomed. Often she sings to me in the voice of a little girl, a breathy, whispery kind of song, usually starting as a humming inside my head, sometimes comes out through my voice without my being aware that I’m humming or singing. Every so often, the words flow out, fully prepared, completely written, already rhyming and grammatically correct. The finest music doesn’t have to be a long, drawn-out process in which I endlessly try to find the rhyme and rhythm and timing and motion. When I slow down and open consciously to the beauty and the sacred around me, my muse feels more at home. When the singer completely becomes the song, there is no difference between spirit and matter. When the voice of the fountain and the murmur of the mountain align in total harmony, the music flows out like a river towards the ocean and I simply float along on the surface, easily carried on the current.
Another Artist’s Prayer
It all begins with an idea.
Great Spirit, Sweet Mother, You of a thousand thousand names,
I have taken time out of time, cut a space between worlds
that I may become more truly Your open channel to be Your tool in the world, to manifest Your work in the world.
I offer myself to You as a willing servant.
I open myself to Your love and Your light.
I surrender to You my fears and doubts.
I welcome You to take my life this day and do as You see fit.
I trust that You are orchestrating the symphony of my life.
I trust that I am safe and loved, blessed and protected.
I know that I am a reflection of You, and that creativity is our nature and our birthright.
I ask You to open me to Your way, as You will.
Help me to remember to rest in You
And that my only job is to reflect Your love into the world,
to be healed by You and through others walking this same path and made whole.
Help me to open to love,
to nurture and be nurtured,
to encourage and be encouraged,
to understand and be understood.
Help me to remember You are always with me,
and that I am loved and lovable.
Help me to create as an act of worship to You.
And So It Is....
A Truth To Remember
It all begins with an idea.
There is no reality but Spirit, there is only Spirit.
There is no need Spirit cannot meet;
no thirst Spirit cannot quench;
no hunger Spirit cannot feed;
no emptiness Spirit cannot fill;
no darkness Spirit cannot light;
no fear Spirit cannot calm;
no question Spirit cannot answer
I am learning to let go
learning to open my fists
learning to breathe
learning to swim with the flow
instead of fighting the current.
The Meaning of My Life
I have been blessed to dis-cover and re-member my true purpose on the planet.
I deeply know that I am here now to fulfill my destiny... to be an ever-overflowing container of Divine Light and Love.
(and really, that's the gist of it.)
but also...
to dance in the ecstasy of existence
in all it's terrifying beauty...
to be the Grail of bygone days-
ever cascading the limitless emanations of Spirit
into the lives of all those I am led into contact with.
I am a trumpet-blowing angel, here to wake up those who are tired of
sleepwalking to the Truth, that we, all of us, have the same sole purpose,
to radiate and emanate Spirit's Light and Love. Period.
I deeply know that as long as I am connected to the Divine, I am on the
right path toward wholeness. When I align myself with Spirit, I am safe,
with every moment, every breath, every heartbeat slipping by, I am deeply loved.
In this moment of the eternal *now* I have no fear, no regret, no shame.
I am healed. I am whole. I am holy.
Drum Story
The first time I heard the siren song of love issuing forth from the voice of the drum, I was just twenty-one. I was at a gathering of women musicians, and one evening, I decided to go for a walk.... I began to hear the most magical sound, of people drumming together, really listening to each other, and carrying on an involved conversation, through their music-making. I was absolutely swept away in the energy and the feeling of the music, and I followed my ears to the source, a small bonfire of women, gathered with their drums, playing as the sun went down. I stayed near the edge of the group, listening, enthralled, until the players took a break. I went and sat near one the women who had been playing, and asked her to show me something, anything, how could I join this marvelous current they were all swimming in... And she patiently taught me one part, and then another and then another... And by the time I wandered back to my tent, it was well past midnight, and I knew I had to find out more. I went back the next night and the next night after that, and then it was time to go home. The next week, I found a drum-maker who made me my first drum, a honey-blonde hybrid of a conga and an ashiko, with a thick cowskin head and heavy, metal hardware.
The drum has led me through each one of the major transitions and changes in my life. It has introduced me to the people I am closest to in my life, including my husband, Jeff. It has led me across the country, and through most of the fifty states. I have taught classes throughout New England, the Southeast, in the mountains, in the desert, in the woods, in churches and temples and under the sky. I have played for dance classes of up to a hundred people, and for rituals involving one dancer. I have played music for people who were being born, being transformed, and dying.
I have opened myself to Spirit’s guidance, chosen to trust my inner intuition when she says “sing!” or “dance!” or “play!” and this voice has never steered me wrong. It’s only when I don’t listen that I lose out on an experience, or when I let someone else’s fear or shame get in my way. I choose not to give my power away like that anymore. As an artist, I want to find ways to encourage others to be in their creative flow, truly expressing their own hearts. It is not my job to tell others to be quiet, nor is it my job to listen when others would tell me not to sing or play or to quiet down. I am blessed with my voice and the songs that pour through me, and my main responsibility is to Spirit, to be grateful for the gifts that I do have, and to use them abundantly; it is this which can encourage others to blossom and open into their own fullness…. Abundant gratitude.
Rhythm Heart
The heart of the rhythm, the sweet, strong beat, flows from the ocean of emotion in motion,
and from the higher fire of desire; flames in my blood and pulses in my soul like sweet Oshun-honey....
The first-heard sound in my prenatal ear was the steady heartbeat of my mother, and now,
the heartbeat of the Earth herself pours in me and through me,
singing through my voice and playing through my hands like water, like fire, like magic.
It has been said that if you have a heartbeat, you have rhythm and if you have rhythm, you can drum,
and this, I know, is true....
The drum leads us on our paths, introducing us to new friends and lovers,
granting us blessings and teaching us lessons on the way as we dance, or stumble along,
...changing our lives, in the process.
The drum is a microcosmic universe for us to experience,
just as we do the greater whole;
any issues, any growth, any feelings we encounter while playing
are working themselves out in the macrocosmic world around us....
We heal ourselves, each other, and the planet as we learn and teach and play together,
reminding ourselves through rhythm and trance who we deeply are.
A Response to the Preacher-Man:
Yes, sir, I do believe in God. I believe that there is only one God, and that this God wears many faces, like a multi-faceted diamond. I believe that this God is all knowing and all-powerful, and that this God works in mysterious ways. I know for a fact, that God is far wiser than I am, that God knows what the children need far better than I do, and that there is a plan for each and every one of us.
The God I believe in is Love, and Kindness and Compassion. I am not a Satanist- I do not believe in Satan or in Hell or in absolute evil or eternal damnation, or in sin. I believe that disease exists, that sickness and poverty exist, that chemical imbalances in the human brain exist, and that these conditions can create extreme and unhealthy situations, but I don’t think they’re punishments sent from on high.
I believe that through our words and our deeds, we create heaven here on earth, or not- I believe that each of our souls has come to this plane to learn about love and about Spirit, in whatever way we choose to access that reality. I will not believe in a god-form that condemns millions of innocent Hindus, Muslims, Buddhists, Jews and others to burn in Hell because their God has a different name. God is One- it doesn’t matter if we call God Krishna or Jesus, Adonai or Buddha, Isis or Goddess- Spirit knows who we are talking to, there is no confusion in Spirit’s mind, being all-knowing, S/He can figure it out.
We are judged, if you will, by our deeds- If we are using our spiritual connections to berate and fight and force and coerce-- we need to ask ourselves, is this what Jesus did?? The answer is no- he spent his time learning, and teaching, preaching his message of love and compassion, and “turn the other cheek,” to his disciples, to the people who sought him out, who resonated with the messages he was bringing forth...
Jesus absolutely was the son of God, just as I am the daughter of God and you are a child of God. We are all Spirit, under our skins.... Our job is to access this knowledge in whatever way seems appropriate for us as individuals, to share it with people who seek us out and resonate with us, to act as God would have us do, with kindness and compassion and clarity and love...
For it is by our actions that we show what we are made of, that we demonstrate our Divine selves. I don’t need you to save me; I am not lost. I will not burn in your vision of hell, I am creating heaven around me now... When I die, I will go back into complete unity with Spirit, without fear... But for this moment, and this breath, and this heartbeat, I have work to do- and blessings to offer to all, even you.
Ascending
The morning light had awakened me early, the red, hot glare of the desert and the wide-open sky beckoned me to come for a walk, to see and be seen by the creatures and spirits of this new place, to greet and converse with the stones and the cacti.... As I started walking, I found a piece of plastic blowing in the wind, picked it up and put it in my pocket, and tangibly felt the desert's gratitude and approval. ... And found myself at the base of a formation of about six rocks, and thinking how frightening and risky and dangerous it would be to climb them, there, in the morning heat, wearing my hiking sandals... thinking about how easy it would be to become water and flow with the current, up the stone, as if I were a mountain lion, or a nanny goat... Ascending the rock after some moments of communion, touching the surface, exploring the sensations in touching the rock, feeling the rock enjoying my touch in it's own quiet, rocky, stony sort of silent exhalation. And being granted permission to climb, to test my own limits and go through a piece of work to push me a little, with fear and risk and affirmations and new ways of looking at things... Whenever I would begin to feel afraid, I would chant to myself that every step I take is safe, the next step is safe. I would maintain my hold with three limbs, solidly, and allow the fourth to find the toehold or finger hold... I was moving slowly, almost a tai-chi meditation, in the flow, waiting patiently until the next move became clearly revealed by the stone itself... And when I looked at how high I had climbed, without thinking about it, suddenly, I was very afraid, visioning myself freezing like a deer in the light, needing to call for help to get down, a confused kitten gone too far up the tree... and so I got small on the rocks, low down and close to them, until I could smell them, and persuade myself to take one more step... all the way up, and then all the way down the other side, filled with profound gratitude....
Fall Musings
The temperature is dropping, and the days are getting darker earlier. Just outside of town, the leaves have mostly fallen from the trees, a symphony of color, in radiant finale. Samhain is again nearly upon us, marking the ending of the months of light, and the beginning of the dark-time ahead. Once again, the television warns of impending terror, of bad-guy bogeymen to fear in the times ahead. The dark-time descends; perhaps that's why we call it Fall?
Let us call on our ancestors, on those who came before us, to lend us their guidance, their wisdom, their wiley ways, to help, aid and inspire us as we move forward from this moment in the stream of time. At this holy time of year, I call for the wisdom of my Great-Grandmother Anna, who lived through the Depression, the wars, the oppression, disease and the anti-semitism. She prospered, becoming matriarch of a good and strong family. I call for my Grandfathers, Harry and Ed, to remind me of the power of laughter, of song, and of family... and for my grandmothers, Muriel and Anne, to share their strong and gentle ways of being and their long-forgotten stories. These are the ancestors I knew personally; it is on their shoulders I stand tall. At this time of year, I choose to remember the beauty and goodness in them, and to honor their memories, through the veil of time. I call for the ancestral wisdom of those who lived in times of terror, through the Holocaust in Germany, through the pogroms in Poland and Russia, beyond and beyond, back into the source of strength. Send your words of hope, of having faith that the light will return. Send your light to keep us warm.
On Samhain night, I will go to the ocean's side and I will listen for my ancestor's voices, in the waves, and in the foam, and in the stillness.
There's a Sweet Honey in the Rock song that says: "Listen more often to things than to beings-- 'tis the ancestor's word, when the fire's voice is heard, 'tis the ancestor's breath in the voice of the waters. Those who have died have never ever left, the dead are not under the earth...."
On Samhain night, I will sing them my songs, and their songs. I will ask for their wisdom, and they will speak to me, in their own ways. I will remember friends and other loved ones who are no longer on this plane-- Jeff's parents, my high school friends, those who died at the Pentagon and the World Trade Center, in all the wars, and I will honor their memory, as well.... and I will give thanks...
for the beauty of these moments, now,
for the community which cradles me in love,
for the gift of my husband and my daughter,
for the deep, sweet, loving connections in my life
for health and strength, and so much more....